Six Words, Yet Cover A Lifetime

Ever heard of six-word poems? They’re very deep, thoughtful, and give you a glimpse into the author’s psyche. Our assignment was to chronicle our lives (past, present, and future) using this structure. By the way, the word, “bae” here is used ironically. Don’t judge me!

Took twenty-six hours, guilt tripped forever

“You were so cute, what happened?”

Wall was closer than I thought.

Mom “ashamed” of nerd-culture children.

Feeling different, making friends, seeing wonders.

So glad I found these goofs.

Wishing that the weekend wouldn’t end.

Married school sweetheart, attack helicopter style.

Best-selling author is beloved at comic-con.

Answering sarcastically to fan questions, spoilers!

Adopted, best decision I ever made

Great-great grandmother, great-great blessings.

Died happy, followed my bae, *hurk*

Assorted Scribbles

For my third piece, I present my short story excerpt that I presented at a Writing Recital. It’s heavily edited to make sense in a small time-frame, but it still gets the message across.

The following are diary entries written by a Ms. Patricia Kenyon chronicling her numerous escape attempts from Mount Massive Psychiatric Hospital.

Attempt number twelve:

Knock over urn on shelf in “living room”. While the janitor’s distracted, I take his keys. Hide until nighttime, then make my way outside and climb the fence.

Failure. While attempting to sneak down hallway, my fellow inmate Veronica yelled greetings. I was sucked into a thirty-minute discussion on the logistics of earthworms and caught by security guards.

I Obtained:

 

  • Metaphorical soundboard / Best friend?
  • Dead weight

 

Attempt number twenty-three:

Paraglide out of hallway bay window using bedsheets and toilet plungers, land on a vending machine conveniently stationed next to said window, and fight off guard dogs with newly coined Plunger-Glider.

Failure, the Plunger-Glider is not an effective weapon against German Shepherds.

I Obtained:

 

  • An amazing name for a band

 

  • An uncomfortable hatred for dogs

Attempt number thirty-three:

Knockout two security guards and steal their uniforms. Using our superior acting skills, Veronica and I will walk out of the institution.

Failure, Veronica cannot act.

I Obtained:

 

  • An ever dwindling list of bestie’s good qualities
  • Two security guard uniforms

 

Attempt number thirty-three (and a half):

Make a run for it pray that the guards outside have not been notified.

Failure, those goshdarn German Shepherds.

I Obtained:

 

  • Canine saliva
  • Another R-rated “discussion” with the dogs

 

Attempt number one-hundred:

Flood asylum by placing hamburger buns in toilets. Clog the sink drains with extra shirts. Ride out on a sea of victory (and various other fluids).

Failure, sinking an entire building is easily detected, as well as deterred.

I Obtained:

 

  • Soggy clothes
  • Disgusted Veronica
  • An appreciation for plumbers

 

Attempt one-hundred seventeen:

Hoard meat from the cafeteria to deter German Shepherds. Utilizing the extinguishers found during several previous failures, spray at any guards who attempt to detain. Walk out like a champion.

It was a success. A sweet, dog-free success.

I Obtained:

 

  • FREEDOM!
  • Slightly crazy fugitive friend

 

 

A Thrilling Parody

During my class’s “Parody and Satire” unit, I wrote a parody of Never Shout Never’s “Trouble”. It acts as a summation of the first few arcs of Thrilling Intent, the show I plugged in the last post. It contains one or two expletives, but then again, so does the show. Enjoy!

“Never Shout in the Prison of Lights”

I’m in trouble

I’m an addict

I just spotted this new show

The plot has got me goin’ “what?”

But I always have to know.

 

And even worse

I left my browser on.

My dad just checked it out.

He asked me, “What’s it about?”

 

I said, “ Dad, you wouldn’t understand,

“You’re just too far behind.”

This show’s mostly ad-libbing

But it always blows my mind.

Oh, the characters will make you smile I swear,

I swear

 

Because it’s so oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh

OOoooooOOOooh

The headstrong fighter we all call Gregor

And his PigBat, Don’t

 

And oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh

Ashe the Guardian

Stop saying it’s science

It’s totally magic

We all know

 

They’re in prison

It’s full of ghouls

They just faced off against Death

Really he just needs a hug

That Ashe would want to give

 

It’s getting worse I can’t stop watching this

It’s all I want and more

And seriously

What’s not to adore?

 

Inien is such a bitch

But her spells are pretty great

Marcus is a Demon bud

Who’s always getting dates

And Kyr, the inventor

Will be the death of them

I swear, I swear

 

Because he’s so oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh

OOOooooOOOOoooh

He’s making plans to destroy the moon

But he surely won’t.

 

Because they’re so oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh

Sensational

And making my week,

Each and every week

Without fail

 

And oh, oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh

OOOOOooooooOOOoooo

HoooooOOOoOoO

See you at the next post!

Dialogue Exercises, They’re Thrilling!

My teacher had us practice dialogue by typing out movie dialogue, but phrasing it like a written story. I chose the third episode of the third season of one my favorite shows, Thrilling Intent. I heartily recommend it, especially if you enjoy the Dungeons & Dragons and Pathfinder roleplaying games. Warning: This is longer than my usual pieces, make sure you’ve got some time before reading this.

Taken from “Deck of Disaster Part 3 – Thrilling Intent 43″

The scene opens. Our four heroes, Ashe, Gregor, Kier, and Markus have arrived on the Isle of Peros and are surrounded by various hooligans out to steal their belongings. Gregor, the team’s new Oracle, takes out his fortune-telling tome and approaches one of the thugs, casually flipping through the book for information. It allows Gregor to see into the gangster’s past, and sadly states that a man, dressed as a duck, came into his household and murdered his entire family.

“Psychological warfare.” He says proudly when Ashe shoots him a confused look.

Making use of Gregor’s stationary form, Markus rushes behind the man and readies himself to tabletop the thug.

Gregor, glancing up from his tome, confusedly asks, “Are-are you the table or am I the table?”

“You’re the table.” Markus deadpans.

“Oh! Oh.”

“Is it not in the book?”

Paying little attention to the surprise on his companion’s face, Markus shoves the man into Gregor. Clearly misinterpreting the situation, the Oracle embraces the thug.

He whispers into the man’s ear, “Quack.”

His three companions burst into laughter, but stop when the two magic users, Kier and Markus, freeze in place. A crackle passes through the magicians, and their hair stands on end.

The thug’s eyes go wild for a second, “…What?”

Gregor leans in, “I said ‘Give me some bread.’” He lowers his voice menacingly. “Quack quack.”

The group continues to laugh at the man’s expense, but Kyr sniffs the air at another fizzle of electricity, “Did you just feel the rules of the universe being rewritten as we spoke? ‘Cause I felt that.”

He sidesteps nervously towards Ashe, who stutters, “Uh…”

“I smelled it. Tasted it too.” He smacks his lips and mumbles, “Ugh.”

“I didn’t feel it much.”

The thug, panicking at Gregor’s words, runs away, “Why am I panicking?” He continues sprinting, making several distressing noises before leaping into a ditch labeled: Kidnapping Hole, though the group sees this as unimportant.

Gregor smiles, “Works every time,” he notices Markus raise his hand to add something. “From now on.”

The adventurers chuckle to themselves and continue on their quest, this little incident barely leaving a mark in their memories.

 

I hope you enjoyed this little bit of Thrilling Intent. If you liked what you read, go ahead and check them out! They’re hilarious and update every Tuesday. If this seems really random and ad-libbed, that’s basically how they run things.

Link to this episode:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbrWSh2Q7ZI&list=PLYcjWhKow9dplJ0vQL4ofKK_v9nI5ucvY&index=43 

Link to their channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd83kSpJ-jJGCE_L8Yaoakg 

Creative Writing Portfolio…?

Because why not? I’ll be using this blog for my Creative Writing portfolio, so look forward to some very thematic pieces. Any of the pieces that I post within the next three weeks will be found under the Creative Writing tab on the side of the page.

Hope you enjoy!

“If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.” – Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Wallflower Syndrome

Being a wallflower is not beautiful anymore.                                                                 Being forgotten is not interesting anymore.

As my petals fade and blend with these boring grey walls
I think to myself,
That these could have been larger,
Should have shone brighter,
Would have if I’d cared enough.

Like a flower I observe
The world around me,
Shifting,
Changing,
Growing,
And longing to join, but rooted to my post.
Like a different species
I know the language
But cannot open my mouth to speak it.

Once in a while I feel the wind
Of kind words
And like-minded flowers.
They claw through my defenses,
Peeling apart the folded, grey petals,
Exposing the vibrant colors beneath.
And I’m free.

How can it be
That the wind dies down,
The colors dim,
My voice cracks,
We’re back to the way things were.
I long for the feeling once more
But distance.
Words.
Fear.
Keep me from happiness.

Being a wallflower leaves me yearning for more.
Being forgotten keeps others at the shore.

Another poem! I told you I’d come back… several months ago. Oops. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the second flower-related poem I’ve placed on this blog, and look forward to more!

Eventually.