Separation Anxiety

I don’t know what it’s about yet,

I just know it doesn’t feel right.

A pit forms at the base of my stomach,

My insides squeezing,

So,

So,

Tight.

 

Your voices aren’t raised yet,

But it’s on the horizon.

This room’s my safe haven,

But still I keep my eyes on

Him.

 

I do it for you,

I take those feelings,

Lock them up tight,

But these wounds aren’t healing.

 

I want to shout

“Stop it!”

“Figure it out!”

“Make a decision!”

“I just want out!”

But I tamp it down,

Hold steady.

Don’t even frown.

 

It’s hard these days,

Because I’m going through things too.

I’m finding myself,

Figuring it out without you.

 

Every day another scare,

A deep-seated unsettling.

I want to let out these feelings,

Throw that vase, tears streaming.

 

But I can’t.

I won’t.

I’ll keep my poker face,

Stop asking if I’m fine,

Just.

Don’t.

Life in a Library

You don’t always know

Where the books go.

The label’s smudged,

The pages, torn.

 

You tape them together,

Glue the spines,

Buff the disc,

Distribute fines.

 

You smile amiably,

Give help where you can,

Sometimes it feels like plaster.

A bright face,

An emotional scam.

 

A scream echoes through the halls,

Children demanding more.

Often you want to shake them,

Give ’em what for.

Remind them it’s a library,

And don’t you have any manners,

You tiny spore?

 

Patrons don’t believe you.

They ask for miracles.

The sounds of complaints,

Begins to feel lyrical.

They didn’t look,

The evidence is empirical.

 

You return home,

Back aching,

Feet sore,

Shoulders stiff,

Fingers raking,

Through locks newly freed,

From that severe bun.

 

You wonder why this job called so.

The pay is abysmal.

The patrons, awful.

The treatment, reprehensible.

Why do you stay?

 

Then,

One day.

 

A small, grubby hand,

Taps you,

Demands attention.

Eyes wide,

Sparkling,

Filled with imagination.

Seeking information.

 

They smile,

Request something simple,

Science-related?

Your fingers search,

Nimble.

 

You find it easily,

Their face lights up.

They thank you breezily,

And your heart melts

As they ask

For something else,

But nothing breezy.

You see.

 

This kid’s dreaming big,

And can’t have the baby

Books, anymore.

They think maybe

They’ll study everything.

They have to know more.

 

You remember your reasons now.

It always comes back to you,

Somehow.

Through the darkest nights,

And bleakest days,

You’ll forever be swayed,

By these displays.

 

The hunger for knowledge,

Not dampened by failure.

This beautiful behavior.

As they stare,

Clearly,

Desperately

At the stacks,

And you see a bit of drool.

You’d be a fool

To deny that child

What they’ll never learn

In school.

 

Sure,

Life at the library

Is trying

But there’s no denying

That the vying

Children and patrons,

Who only want to seek,

Make this life worth living.

Lifts a smile,

To your cheeks.