Separation Anxiety

I don’t know what it’s about yet,

I just know it doesn’t feel right.

A pit forms at the base of my stomach,

My insides squeezing,

So,

So,

Tight.

 

Your voices aren’t raised yet,

But it’s on the horizon.

This room’s my safe haven,

But still I keep my eyes on

Him.

 

I do it for you,

I take those feelings,

Lock them up tight,

But these wounds aren’t healing.

 

I want to shout

“Stop it!”

“Figure it out!”

“Make a decision!”

“I just want out!”

But I tamp it down,

Hold steady.

Don’t even frown.

 

It’s hard these days,

Because I’m going through things too.

I’m finding myself,

Figuring it out without you.

 

Every day another scare,

A deep-seated unsettling.

I want to let out these feelings,

Throw that vase, tears streaming.

 

But I can’t.

I won’t.

I’ll keep my poker face,

Stop asking if I’m fine,

Just.

Don’t.